How do I obtain a Certificate Signing Request? All I'm trying to do is get my app running on my ipod touch. This was easy as I could just go to the IOS development portal and just download one, no muss no fuss. But now they want me to create a CSR to create a provisioning profile and I don't know how. I've been derping around in Keychain Access and the online documents for the better part of two hours and I'm still completely lost.
I'm not even sure why I need one now when I didn't before. I had a provisioning profile before I recently switched from Snow Leopard to Mountain Lion, but now it won't take it. Yes, I'm still on the same computer.
Since you installed a new OS you probably don't have any more of your private and public keys that you used to sign your app in to XCode before. You need to regenerate those keys on your machine by revoking your previous certificate and asking for a new one on the iOS development portal. As part of the process you will be asked to generate a Certificate Signing Request which is where you seem to have a problem.
You will find all you need there which consists of (from the official doc):
To manually generate a Certificate, you need a Certificate Signing Request (CSR) file from your Mac. To create a CSR file, follow the instructions below to create one using Keychain Access.
Create a CSR file. In the Applications folder on your Mac, open the Utilities folder and launch Keychain Access.
Within the Keychain Access drop down menu, select Keychain Access > Certificate Assistant > Request a Certificate from a Certificate Authority.
In the Certificate Information window, enter the following information: In the User Email Address field, enter your email address. In the Common Name field, create a name for your private key (e.g., John Doe Dev Key). The CA Email Address field should be left empty. In the "Request is" group, select the "Saved to disk" option. Click Continue within Keychain Access to complete the CSR generating process.
Follow these steps to create CSR (Code Signing Identity):
On your Mac, go to the folder 'Applications' ► 'Utilities' and open 'Keychain Access.'
Go to 'Keychain Access' ► Certificate Assistant ► Request a Certificate from a Certificate Authority. 
Fill out the information in the Certificate Information window as specified below and click "Continue."
• In the User Email Address field, enter the email address to identify with this certificate
• In the Common Name field, enter your name
• In the Request group, click the "Saved to disk" option 
Save the file to your hard drive.
Use this CSR (.certSigningRequest) file to create project/application certificates and profiles, in Apple developer account.