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I have the following 1) DEV Site 1 2) Live Site 3) DEV Site 2
Both dev site 1 & 2 have custom menus and custom css classes that specifically call CSS menu ids. These menu options do not match the LIVE site.
For example. In DEV 1 i have this: .column2 #text-19 h3 In the LIVE site this box was not created yet, so If I create the box it could be text-16
The live site also has NEW blog/post content which has been added while the dev sites were worked on, so I cannot just over write it
How do I combine all the database stuff so i have one LIVE site with all the right menus and corresponding CSS and mobile menus?
Having one environment is a bad solution, since you will never have a development environment to safely test in. You are doing the right thing, you just need to synch. You can bring down a database and over write development with production, but you will need to find all references to the production URL and replace them.
This is a decent tool for replacing references in a WordPress database
Search Replace DB
Even better and well worth the money IMO is WP Migrate DB Pro. You can sync data back and forth and even move (and cleanup) media files.