Basically, I'm looking for something like this awesome research project: Gmap, which was referenced in this related SO question.
It's a rather novel data visualization that combines a network graph with an imaginary set of regions that looks like a map. Basically, the map-ification helps humans comprehend the enormous data set better.
Cool, huh? GMap doesn't appear to be open source, though I plan to contact the authors.
I already know how to create a network graph with a force-directed layout (currently using Prefuse/Flare), so an answer could be a way to layer a mapping algorithm on top of an existing graph. I'm also not concerned about the client-side at all right now - this would be a backend process, and I am flexible about technology stack and data output at this stage.
There's also this paper that describes the algorithm backing GMap. If you have heard of Voronoi diagrams (which rock, but make my head hurt), this paper is for you. I quit after Calc 1, though, so I'm hoping to avoid remembering what sigmas and epsilons are.